


i felt younger when we met

by wonderwall_mp4



Series: lucifer [6]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, but maze always stays, eve leaves, lowercase intended
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22189126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderwall_mp4/pseuds/wonderwall_mp4
Summary: said i'd love you to death, so i must be deadit makes me sick you know my skin, my sins are all built inyou know
Relationships: Eve/Mazikeen (Lucifer TV)
Series: lucifer [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1487516
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32





	i felt younger when we met

**Author's Note:**

> went into mazieve sad hours because of i felt younger when we met by waterparks and this was the result.

the glass shattered against the whiskey-stained white wall, joining the shards that had already collected on the floor below. maze yelled at the noise, not a yell of shock but a pain-torn war cry.

maze wasn’t the emotional type. maze never screamed like that; not when her mother abandoned her in the middle of the sulfur-shot wasteland wilderness of hell, not when she thought lucifer had left without her, not even when she thought linda was going to die. but heartbreak after heartbreak had piled on top of maze until she felt like she was carrying the heavens on her back, so she screamed. she screamed and screamed and let linda’s living room wall feel the force of her anguish, let it feel the kiss of another tumbler of alcohol instead of letting it numb her tongue because she couldn’t get drunk, so what was the use anyway?

maze was the strong one, maze was the one who could grin and bear it. maze, the selfish bastard demon who was so selfish that she followed the devil through the gates of hell because she cared for him so much that she would rather leave home than leave him. the one they would call in to kick ass and then send on her way. sure, maze was the one who was selfish, when all she did was give and give. the one who nobody trusted enough to be their first choice.

and just when she finally,  _ finally _ got over that awful feeling that came with being perpetually second, decided that she could and would be loved and love herself,  _ She _ waltzed into her life, razed her walls down, and waltzed right back out, leaving maze without any protection against the cruelty of the world. she used to be that cruelty, the thing that sent barriers tumbling like one of trixie’s lego constructions shattering to the ground, but now what was she? a weak, mewling  _ thing _ . she hated it. hated herself. being vulnerable was maze’s worst fear, and it had come to fruition in the form of a woman-shaped perfect storm. maze filled a glass with whiskey and, instead of hurling it, her hand shook as she raised it to her lips.

maze had been left before, god knows she had been left, but this one cut deeper. it made her sick to her stomach that she had let Her see her as she was, in all her violence and weakness. it brought up that lifelong question, always in the back of her mind: why wasn’t she worth staying for? 

what was so fundamentally  _ wrong _ about her that the people she trusted always decided to leave?

and maze tried to understand why She left, and she did, sort of; she wanted Her to be happy, more than anything, more than she wanted her own self to be happy. she knew She had to leave. no, the anger was towards herself, towards the selfish and traitorous idea that she could pin Her down when She was meant to fly.

_Eve_. 

Her name meant living. life in all its forms. a new life for maze, maybe, something blazing like a sun touching the horizon. and with life came death, and change. 

maze hated change, but this one, maybe, she wouldn’t have minded.

would she ever know?

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter for more ~fun~ content @abimeldafilms


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